Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa Vs. A Chicken Chalupa I Made Out Of A McChicken
It’s Taco Bell’s newest fast food innovation. The Naked Chicken Chalupa. The Chalupa made out of fried chicken. And the question on everyone’s mind is “Will it be any good?” The answer is of course it will be. That was a dumb question. So let’s move on to more important things. Like, what other fast food item could compete with this delicious idea? We need another chicken patty so solid and processed that it could be formed into a taco shell. But where oh where could we find such an item? Oh, that’s right, the McChicken. Barely counting as chicken, but excelling as the premier “this will do” option, it’s perfect.
The Naked Chicken Chalupa is described as “A Chalupa shell made of crispy, marinated all–white meat chicken and filled it with crisp lettuce, diced tomatoes, cheese and avocado ranch sauce.” The McChicken is described as “food”. It’s your basic high school, barely-heated chicken patty with some shredded lettuce, mayo, and an added tomato slice (+$.40), all on a bun. So I ditched the bun—it’s 2017, gluten is out, fried chicken is in—and folded everything into the chicken patty. Boom, healthy.
The stage was set.
In the left corner, the Naked Chicken Chalupa.
In the right corner, the McChicken.
It was down to the age-old question. Does size matter? And the second age-old question. Does marketing matter? The answer to both would be yes, your penis size is probably fine, stop asking me.
The Naked Chicken Chalupa tastes a lot like if you were to buy a McChicken, add a tomato slice, take off the buns, and fold the chicken patty around the mayo, lettuce, and tomato, while the McChicken Chalupa tastes a lot like if you were to buy a McChicken, add a tomato slice, take off the buns, and fold the chicken patty around the mayo, lettuce, and tomato.
In the end, I couldn’t help but marvel at what a time it is to be alive. Fried chicken as a taco shell? What’s next, fried chicken as buns? No. Because that already happened and it was delicious. RIP Double Down. You were too good for this world.
Naked Chicken Chalupa Vs. McChicken: Draw