DiGiorno Thanksgiving Pizza: A Review

The advertising copy says the DiGiorno Thanksgiving Pizza is a frozen pizza that will give you that homemade Thanksgiving feeling with toppings like our roasted turkey, green beans, crispy onions, dried cranberries & a gravy drizzle on a Detroit style pizza crust.

But can it replace the love and warmth of my family on a Detroit pizza style crust?

Seeing as most forms of pizza are best eaten in shame by yourself, I decided to let my wife and children go to bed before putting this Thanksgiving pizza to the test. Would it deliver on being everything that’s good about Thanksgiving in one conveniently packaged frozen pizza?

Smell
This smells like Thanksgiving. Or at least close enough. As the pizza cooked, I started to actually get excited. I’m a fan of frozen pizzas, but I also recognize their limitations. The best frozen pizzas can hit the spot, be nostalgic, or taste pretty decent. But rarely do they reach the heights of shameful bliss delivered by takeout/delivery pizza. The smell had me hopeful.

10/10

Toppings
On first bite, I’m into it. First, the negatives. There’s not enough turkey, there could maybe be a little more gravy, and I think it’s a real missed opportunity to not have any stuffing on here. With that said, the toppings work really well together. I like the little bit of sweetness the cranberries provide, I especially love the crispy onions, and I didn’t even dislike the green beans, which I normally skip on Thanksgiving because this day isn’t about you, vegetables. 

8/10

The Crust
Disappointment. I knew it was all too good to be true. The crust is a kind of weirdly Pillsbury-esque fake crescent roll crust. And don’t get me wrong, I am not too good for the fake Pillsbury crescent rolls. But I would’ve preferred the normal uninspiring DiGiorno crust to this. The crust also didn’t have much of the caramelization that is the calling card of a good Detroit style pizza. While I didn’t actually expect it to deliver on that front, I couldn’t help but think a Jet’s crust would be incredibly good with the rest of this pizza. There was one piece with (semi) caramelization that gave a hint of what could have been, like some kind of ghost of Thanksgiving past, but it wasn’t enough.

5/10

The Love and Warmth of Family
So the crust was a bit of a disappointment, but maybe it could still redeem itself by replacing the love of my family? Indeed, there’s nothing quite like feasting on a warm pizza all by yourself on the couch, corner of a dark room, and/or floor.

It’s a delicious meditation where all your worries disappear and only pizza remains to fill the void. While Thanksgiving is a time of togetherness, pizza can be the pinnacle of great selfishness. Terrible for you in many ways, but also sometimes much needed and transcendent in its indulgence. So no, this Thanksgiving pizza does not deliver the love and warmth of a family, but it does deliver some good old self-love. If only the crust was better.

7/10

Leftovers
There’s one more standard of Thanksgiving this pizza must be held to. Does it make for good leftovers? I appreciated having an easy lunch the next day, and with my expectations lowered after having it the night before, I would say it was slightly better. The crust didn’t bother me quite as much, but it still felt like a miss. And in the light of day, the novelty of crushing a pizza by myself had worn down into the reality of eating a reheated frozen pizza for lunch. 

7/10

Overall
I’m always going to appreciate a good swing at something new and different, so I’m glad this exists. I’m not going to go out of my way to get it again, but if Jet’s offers a Thanksgiving pizza anytime soon, I will gladly wait for my family to fall asleep before housing a whole Thanksgiving pizza on the floor by myself.

37/50